Thought of the Day

You know, often I feel that I am leading a double life. I feel like a secret agent at times…I have to keep so many things about myself hidden because of how people may react.

When it comes to religion, I’m a little lost lately. I was raised Baptist and a little bit forced into the religious scene, and as soon as I turned 18 I decided to stop attending besides holidays. As I get older and wiser, I realize that so many things I was taught to believe as a child are just so wrong.

Religious people come off to me now as ignorant. My family regularly tells me that my openly gay friend is going to hell and things of that nature. And the sad thing is, they honestly believe it. Even sadder, I used to believe it, but personal experience has taught me otherwise.

I now believe that if there is a God, and I believe there is one…that he supports love in any form. Gay, interracial, any type…as long as two people love and care for each other, how can he be against it? I believe in LOVE as being a relationship between two people who share a special bond.

Now back to me leading a double life…

I am currently in a relationship with someone that I love very dearly and who takes very good care of me and makes me happy. Unfortunately, due to religious purposes, my family would never accept this relationship. This is the first time I’ve spoken about it “publically” and really, only a handful of very close, trustworthy friends know about this relationship.

It is a daily struggle not only to keep this relationship hidden, but to experience such things as my first kiss, first real date and all the wonderful things that go along with being in love and not being able to share it with anyone. It kills me sometimes, because I long so badly to just tell someone and I just can’t.

I don’t love people for penises or vaginas or how they look or their skin color. I have chosen to love someone because of the person they are inside and the way they treat me as a person and the happiness we share as a couple.

It’s just a pity that my family cannot share this experience with me. Because I DO plan on marrying this person and I DO plan on living with them, growing old with them and sharing my life with them forever. I just wish that I could be like everyone else and talk about being in love, but I have to keep it within myself.

When I told my friends, they were jubilant and genuinely happy for me.

I wish my family could be the same way. But I know there will only be disappointment, and perhaps even disgust.

I didn’t choose this, or ever expect it to happen. But love comes in mysterious ways, and right now I’m at a very happy point in my life. I think this blog will be beneficial in that I can express my feelings about the relationship for once.

Strange luck…

So, I’ve been on the poor side for the past few days after a Christmas shopping spree…as of this morning I had $20 in the bank and no paycheck coming until Monday night.

But alas, some good fortune!

Firstly, I went to get my car checked out by my grandfather because it’s been stalling at red lights…and in the meantime, my grandmom asked me to buy something on ebay for her because she doesn’t know how. The item cost $13.00. She gave me a $20 and told me to keep the change, meaning I gained $7 out of that trip.

A few minutes ago I was switching the laundry out of the drier and found one dollar….and then another…and a few more. The grand total in the drier? $7!

So I’m fourteen dollars richer today by doing absolutely nothing.

I’m kind of thankful, because I needed to buy stamps and food for my pet rat Ben, both of which cost about $7 each. So miraculously, now I’m covered!

First Post!

I’ve only ever gotten the chance to use WordPress for my classes…but in learning to use it, I realized it would be a helpful tool to utilize for my latest mission: I am a journalism major who doesn’t write enough.

Back in the day I used to write for leisure constantly…and lately, I just haven’t been writing besides for academic purposes. I miss the free flow of words from my fingers as they are typed onto the page. I miss getting my thoughts out in print. So the time has come to take up blogging, and trying to make it a habit to update daily.

I don’t really care if anyone reads this or not…this is more of a personal mission to get me writing more. If people do read it, awesome. If not, whatever. But I’m slacking and brimming with things I need to say, and so this is my chance to put it out there.

We’ll see how this little project goes!